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Silly Wabbit – Dumbest weapons (From TruTV.com)

Posted by 4love2love on June 13, 2011

To see the full list of the dumbest assaults and other crimes committed with weird weapons, please go to Weirdest Weapons.

TruTV.com contains a wealth of information about crime and punishment of any site on the web. It is one of my favorite all time sites for criminal information, along with some funny stuff like this post and the one prior to it.

So now, after the lamest excuses for murder, we continue with the weirdest weapons!

In Dunnellton, FL., a pre-dinner argument about bread escalated to a physical altercation when 53-year-old Elsie Egan, who insisted on sliced bread, allegedly hit Peter Schabhuttl, her roll-loving boyfriend of 16 years, on the head with an uncooked steak. Schabhuttl, 49, a disabled cancer patient, described the 10-16 oz. raw weapon to police, who took Egan to jail, leaving her meat-beaten beau to make his own bread choices. (Talk about making a big deal out of nothing – It’s bread, comes in many forms.. get over it)

South Carolina, An unnamed 15-year-old boy from South Carolina was the admitted culprit in a one-sided vehicular food fight, in which he allegedly threw a burrito out of a moving Dodge, sending it splattering all over the car and clothes of one John Addie. Addie, who had been driving along in his Honda when the flavor explosion ruined his day, was not amused by the juvenile prank. The teen terror was arrested and put in jail, where he was picked up by his dad. (I hope his Daddy gave him a proper spanking for this)

DeLand, FL., A father and son operating a convenience store in DeLand, Fla., in June 2008 found themselves facing a robber armed with a palm tree frond and a flip flop. The robber demanded money from the clerks, threatening them with his leafy weapon, until a customer chased him away with a stool. Useless as his weapons may have been, police still charged Gelando Olivieri, the alleged robber, with armed robbery.  (Who wants to lay odds that the other inmates laughed at him every day?)

Fort Pierce, FL. (are we noticing a pattern here?), Just before Christmas 2006, Ronny White, left, got into a road-rage confrontation with Keith Ramsford, right, near Fort Pierce, Fla. The altercation escalated until White allegedly pulled out a pair of deer antlers he happened to have in his car and attacked Ramsford with them. White was charged with aggravated assault, and Ramsford with aggravated battery with a motor vehicle.  (Attack of the killer deer antler… enough said)

Fresno, CA., When 21-year-old Antonio Vasquez arrived at a Fresno, Calif., home with the intent to rob it on Sept. 6, 2008, he came prepared. Brandishing an 8-inch sausage and a jar of all-purpose seasoning, Vasquez stole $900, hit one of the residents with the meat baton several times, and threw the seasoning into the face of another. Police quickly found Vasquez in an orchard nearby because he left his shorts, with his ID in the pockets, at the residence. (Can you imagine? I think I would have peed myself if someone came at me with a sausage, honestly.)

Peoria, Ill., A customer at a Peoria, Ill., McDonald’s drive-thru in March 2009 was so upset by the lack of egg in his McGriddle sandwich that he threw it at employee Patricia Munguia, 38, hitting her in the face. Police were unable to find the breakfast aggressor, but advised the victim to call them if it happens again. (Wow, anal much?)

Wenatchee, Wash., When high school student Joshua Hickson, 19, of Wenatchee, Wash., learned in September 2008 that his lunch mate had a peanut allergy, he apparently set out to verify this claim. Hickson grabbed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and rubbed its contents on the forehead of his allergic peer. Fortunately, the victim of the nutty assault did not suffer a reaction, but Hickson was charged with assault. (…. nutty assault. LMAO)

Tucson, Ariz., Two 24-year-old Tucson, Ariz., men were charged with criminal damage, disorderly conduct, vandalism and assault without injury, after flinging custard pies at conservative commentator Ann Coulter as she gave a speech at the University of Arizona in October 2004. The culprits, Phillip Edgar Smith, left, and William Zachary Wolff, claimed to have been throwing the pies at Coulter’s “ideas, not at her.” (Did they miss their auditions at a 3 stooges remake?)

Fort Pierce, Fla. (again), When Kimberlee Ann Cole, 18, found her 24-year-old boyfriend Joel Goldsmith smoking crack in the bathroom on July 11, 2008, she allegedly beat him with a toilet seat. The Fort Pierce, Fla., couple’s housemate called the police, who discovered blood all over the bathroom in which the fight took place. Cole was charged with domestic battery, and Goldsmith, whose lacerations can be seen in the mugshot above, faced a cocaine possession rap. (Can we say someone needs to test their drinking water?)

Royal Oak, Mich., After 42-year-old Robert McClain fled the scene of a car accident in July 2005, police followed him to his Royal Oak, Mich., home. When they got there, McClain was ready to defend his honor. After allegedly trying to hit an officer with a sword, McClain ran to his basement, where he put on a chain mail vest and gauntlets and picked up a wooden mallet. Unfortunately for McClain, medieval weapons work best against other medieval weapons; his ancient arsenal did not stand a chance against a Taser. (A wooden mallet? Really? Talk about bringing a knife to a gun fight.. only this wasn’t even as good as a knife)

Germany, Outside a Hamburg, Germany, train station, police surrounded a man wielding a samurai sword in October 2006. As the suspect swung his sword, an officer deflected his blow with a broom, giving the others enough time to take him down. (I don’t personally consider swords unusual weapons, but the fact the broom was involved made this one worth adding to the list)

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